Feminism (Forbes, 2017) is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of equality of the sexes. I admire the definition, as it encompasses the ‘radical’ notion that women are people. Women battle sexism every day – in their homes, the workplace, even walking down the street. Sexism is manifested in many ways: sexual harassment and assault, victim-blaming, the socialisation of women away from STEM subjects, and even the wage gap – which currently lies at 17% in the UK.
#1: Feminism is not about hating men
The need for feminism, therefore, seems clear – yet numerous negative connotations remain. Some argue it is an extremist, cult-like movement with the sole purpose of villainising men and luring women into misandry. Whereas I found the opposite is true. Becoming involved in the feminist movement helped me educate myself about women’s issues, and about some of the issues that men face. I hadn’t realised that men are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women. Men are 9 times less likely to receive full custody of their children in a custody case. On average, men receive 76% more time behind bars for the same crimes. I was only 14 or 15 when I became a feminist. Since, the movement has awakened me issues like these, that are faced by men but are so rarely discussed
Despite being a huge advocate for feminism, I can sympathise with some Men’s Rights Activists (MRA’s). What MRA’s perhaps don’t realise is that a lot of the causes they feel most passionately about (male suicide, custody battles, crime statistics, and more) are also issues that feminists are discussing and are fighting for too. We can only blame the media for this hugely demonised image of feminism, causing men to become MRA’s, instead of joining the fight alongside the feminists. With articles from news outlets, such as Forbes and The Washington Post, and a 200+ year history of belief that feminists hate men, it is hardly surprising that this notion still exists.
Where MRA’s and feminists differ is a divergence in views on the causes of the aforementioned issues. While MRAs may argue that men are more likely to die from suicide because they are frustrated that they can’t find a job as ‘the odds are stacked against them’ or find a partner as ‘women hate men,’ feminists would instead point to something different. Toxic masculinity is killing men. Toxic masculinity is the result of patriarchal pressure on men to be strong, fierce, powerful, and, most importantly, to withhold their emotions. Phrases such as ‘man up’ and ‘boys don’t cry’ enforce patriarchal stereotypes, and leave men throttled by feelings they are not allowed to express. These emotions either manifest themselves as anger and frustration (often at the feminist movement), or into helplessness, that then leads them to end their life prematurely. Toxic masculinity is killing men, and yet a large number of men (and potentially women) would deny it even exists. It is so often misconstrued into an attack on masculinity in its essence. This is not true, similar to how white supremacy is not an attack on white people. Finally, people are realising that criticisms of white supremacy are not criticisms of anyone that is white. It is time for everyone to come to the same realisation about toxic masculinity
If MRA’s – particularly those that thrive off attacking feminism – instead supported the movement, we might be able to address issues that predominantly affect men more quickly and effectively. The deconstruction of toxic masculinity will bring forth men who are generally more emotive, but less angry and hateful. This, in turn, will trigger a shift in how men are perceived. The currently negative impression of male criminals will be improved by this, helping them to receive shorter sentences in parity with females. I also believe the issue of inequality of child custody is partly due to the societal notion that men can’t be great parents. If they don’t feel able to express emotions themselves, how would they ever be capable of helping their children express theirs? I can’t be alone in the opinion that a parent’s primary role is to support their child emotionally. Therefore men, who have only ever been taught to hide their feelings, will often not be suited to taking on primary custody of their children. A shift in society away from the patriarchy would halt toxic masculinity and gradually change attitudes. Men would be seen as kinder, less hateful, and more emotive than they currently are.
Somehow, I’ve spent the first half of a piece about feminism discussing men, which is partly why we so desperately need this movement. It seems that just the fact that the movement exists angers some because they are not the centre of it. Feminism often has to be justified as to why it helps males, as I have just had to do. It is not acceptable to have a movement that just benefits women, even though MRA’s are solely focussed on men’s issues. This itself is an example of the sexism we are confronted with on a daily basis; if anyone ever questions why we need feminism, this is proof! Also, the achievement of gender equality would not eliminate the need for a feminist movement. To use an analogy, those who voted for Trump in 2016 continue to support him even after his election victory. Despite achieving the goal his supporters most wanted, unfortunately, they are yet to eliminate the phrase ‘Make America Great Again!’ from their vocabulary. Similarly, with feminism, we have come so far, but we must not back down now. We must still advocate for its values and goals. In this way, we can continue to improve, while avoiding a relapse.
#2: Why feminism is called ‘feminism’
A further core criticism of feminism is its name. I have never understood this argument, given that the whole human race is called mankind. A lot of the language we use in English is male-centric, for example, and just off the top of my head: “fireman,” “businessman,” “human,” and even “history.” We are constantly reminded that being a man is the default gender, even in words that have both male and female versions – such as “actor” and “actress” or “waiter” and “waitress” – the male version is the default while the female version has an added suffix to it. Even stereotypically ‘female’ professions such as nursing and teaching do not use language that is specifically female. The only job I was able to think of, which uses particularly feminine language, is “midwife.” However, given the nature of this role, and use of “wife” instead of “woman,” I don’t believe this falls into the same intensity of genderism as some of the previous male examples.
Given how many common words in the English language have ingrained sexism due to being male-centric, I find it difficult to understand how one female-centred word can be seen as so problematic. The word feminism is one of only a handful of examples of female-centred language in the English dictionary, and, in my opinion, this is completely justifiable. Feminism is primarily concerned with the advancement of women’s rights, so they are equal to men’s (even though it does attempt to tackle some male issues too). Women are typically described as being feminine, due to traditional associations of women displaying delicacy and prettiness. However, this is not to say that men can’t be feminine, and therefore the meaning of the word does not have to be inherently female. The key differentiator between this use of gendered language and previous male-centric language is that men can be feminine and still be men. Women do not have this luxury; they cannot be a “businessman” or a “fireman” while still being a woman.
#3: Feminism and beauty
There is also a stereotype that feminists, as well as hating men, are also ugly and disgusting creatures, who reject all patriarchal pressures of conforming to society’s beauty ideals. They don’t shave, they protest clothing on their upper half following the “free the nipple” movement, and they do not wear make-up. In general, they alter their appearance to reject almost all patriarchal notions of beauty.
Firstly, this is not true. Feminism is about choice; women can present themselves physically in any way they would like. Therefore, some feminists would match the previous description, while others choose to more closely match society’s idea of beauty. As a feminist myself, I make choices based on my own preferences, negating the pressure of the patriarchy as much as I can. For example, I grow my hair long and shave my armpits, but I choose not to shave my legs and I reject the notion that women should feel required to wear makeup every day.
Secondly, why does this matter? How can a criticism of feminism be that the women who are a part of the movement do not conform to society’s perceptions of beauty? In fact, this shows the great power that feminism has – those that oppose feminism (generally men) cannot comprehend a world where women do not exist for the male gaze. It further proves the necessity of feminism: men feel angry when there are women who are not preening themselves in the way society expects, in order to attract male attention. These women are labelled as “lazy,” “unattractive,” “gross,” and “disgusting,” simply for appearing the way they would like to. Individuals who choose to not shave or wear makeup are considered by some to be lazy, simply because they do not want to spend their time making themselves ‘beautiful.’ To emphasise how shocking some of these comments are towards women, we should consider how men who treat their body similarly are described. I have never heard a man who has a potentially lazy attitude to grooming and self-care be described by women as “disgusting” or “ugly,” they simply realise that that may not be someone they are attracted to. Yet, when men are confronted with a woman who in their eyes could be beautiful if she wore make up, had long hair, and shaved her legs and armpits, they feel compelled to comment.
Furthermore, women who choose to grow their body hair, or to not apply make-up daily are labelled as “radical.” What can be radical about your body existing in its natural state? These so-called “radical” feminists are not doing anything to themselves to make themselves “ugly” but, in fact, are not doing anything. Choosing not to shave is not a purposeful act; it is an omission. The result that follows reflects a choice to exist without intervention – how can this be wrong? By choosing not to shave, this is not a purposeful act but simply a choice to not shave, and let their bodies exist without intervention.
Now in its fourth wave, feminism has seen immense change since its founding over 200 years ago. Originally primarily concerned with giving women the ability to vote and own property, since the early 2010’s the focus has shifted to female empowerment through the medium of the internet. The criticisms I have discussed have been raised since feminism’s inception. They are also the criticisms I have most often faced, and have had to rebut, to those who question the current movement. It is by no means a perfect movement (as few are), and undoubtedly has its flaws. These are most apparent when the claims of non-intersectional individuals, and those who preach misandry in their feminist approach, are examined. However, it is the movement which has secured women the vote, ownership of property, equality in the workplace, and spurned the #MeToo movement. It is a movement I believe all women – and men – should get behind, for the benefit of us all.
Additional sources:
BBC, ‘I Am A Men’s Rights Activist.’
The Washington Post, ‘Feminists Treat Men Badly. It’s Bad for Feminism.’
